What is Domestic Violence?[i]

Domestic violence can take different forms, but its goal is always the same: abusers want to control their domestic partners through fear. They do this by abusing them physically, sexually, psychologically, verbally and economically. Some of the forms of domestic violence are:

Physical Abuse
Hitting Slapping

Kicking Choking

Pushing Punching

Beating

Isolation
Making it hard for the victim to see friends and relatives
Monitoring phone calls
Reading mail
Controlling where the victim goes
Taking the victim’s car keys
Destroying the victim’s passport

Verbal Abuse
Constant criticism Mocking

Name-Calling Making Humiliating Comments

Yelling Swearing

Interrupting

Sexual Abuse

Forcing sex on an unwilling partner
Demanding sexual acts that the victim does not want to perform
Degrading treatment

Coercion
Making the victim feel guilty
Sulking
Manipulating children and other family members
Always insisting on being right
Making up impossible “rules” and punishing the victim for breaking them

Harassment
Following or Stalking
Refusing to leave when asked
Constantly checking up on the victim

Threats and Intimidation
Threatening to harm the victim, the children, family members and pets
Using physical size to intimidate
Shouting
Keeping weapons and threatening to use them

Economic Control
Not paying bills
Refusing to give the victim money
Not letting the victim work
Interfering with the victim’s job
Prohibiting the victim from going to school
Not allowing the victim to learn a job skill
Refusing to work and support the family

Abusing Trust
Lying
Breaking Promises
Withholding important information
Being unfaithful
Being overly jealous
Not sharing domestic responsibilities

Emotional Withholding
Not expressing feelings
Not giving compliments
Not paying attention
Not respecting the victim’s feelings, rights and opinions
Not taking the victim’s concerns seriously

Destroying Property
Destroying furniture
Punching walls
Throwing or breaking things
Abusing pets

Self-Destructive Behaviors
Abusing drugs or alcohol
Threatening self-harm or suicide
Driving recklessly
Deliberately doing things that will cause trouble

Where to get help:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1(800)799-SAFE (7233)

1(800)787-3224 (For the hearing-impaired)

Also, for further assistance, see other related topics. If you would like to speak with someone from the EAP, call our toll free 24-hour hotline at:

1(866) 443-3277

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[i] It Shouldn’t Hurt to Go Home, The Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence, May 1999 p 2