How to Let a Friend Help You[i]

If you are a domestic violence victim, let the people who care about you help you.

1. Confide in someone you trust.

If you have a friend or relative who cares about your safety, tell them about the abuse. Sharing a burden with someone makes it lighter. If you have left your abusive relationship and are feeling lonely and tempted to return, talk it out with a friend who knows the situation.

2. Don’t let others talk you into taking action that doesn’t feel right to you.

You are the only one who know if you’re ready to leave your relationship, go to the police, or seek emergency shelter. Make your own decisions, based on your own comfort level.

3. Leave an “emergency kit” with a friend.

This could include extra money, a set of car keys, a change of clothes and copies of important documents (driver’s license, birth certificates, social security card, health insurance records, documentation of abuse).These may come in handy in an emergency. Think of what you might need if you have to leave your home in a hurry.

4. Ask a friend to accompany you to important appointments.

If you have medical appointments, are going to the police, to court, or to see a lawyer, take a friend along for moral support. .

5. Discuss domestic violence with a friend.

Discuss the types of abuse you are experiencing. Discuss your emergency plans.

6. Make sure a friend knows about your Personal Safety Plan.

Start making your own Personal Safety Plan. Go over it with a friend and give that friend a copy of the plan.

Where to get help:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1(800)799-SAFE (7233)

1(800)787-3224 (For the hearing-impaired)

Also, for further assistance, see other related topics. If you would like to speak with someone from the EAP, call our toll free 24-hour hotline at:

1(866) 443-3277

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[i] It Shouldn’t Hurt to Go Home, The Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence, May 1999 14