Mental Processes that Generate Anger and Aggression

We dislike people who are different. Research has shown that, in general, we like people like ourselves and dislike people who are different. We also naturally like people who reward us and dislike people who punish us; and, similarity is rewarding. If groups are competitive, critical, and punishing of each other, the dislike and aggression between the groups grow.

Ingroups and Outgroups

Groups and cultures tend to create ingroups and outgroups. Thus, the U.S. and Russia used distrust of each other during the "Cold War" to unite each country into uncooperative, hostile but mighty nations. And each person is expected to conform to his/her group's beliefs. In short, ingroups are valued. Outgroups are devalued, stereotyped, and scapegoated.

Sometimes the minority that is discriminated against by the majority culture turns the anger inward, resulting in self-destructive behavior, such as low self-esteem, self-blame (like abused women), alcoholism, drug abuse, and passive-resistance to the dominant culture's ideals of what is success.

Powerful forces within a group increase the likelihood of aggression. We feel compelled to believe and act the way our family or group does We want to be liked by our ingroup. We are taught to be obedient to authority.

The evidence suggests that we may be mean by following the rules of a violent group or the orders of a violent person or the urging of a violent feeling inside.

Events

An amazing variety of events seem to increase our anger: foul odors, high room temperatures, cigarette smoke, disgusting scenes, unpleasant interactions with others, fear, depression, unattractiveness or handicaps in others, expectation of pain, general discomfort, and merely thinking about punishing someone.

Even though cognition can stop an aggressive impulse (you don't punch out your dentist), much of the connection between unpleasantness and aggression escapes our awareness. We all experience pain, frustration, and lots of unpleasant events and, presumably, as we suffer, we are inclined to be indiscriminately aggressive.

But we can recognize how unreasonable our anger is. We can recognize that all sources of unpleasantness contribute to our aggressiveness, making some of our hurtful, punitive impulses as unreasonable as the rat attacking an innocent cage-mate. When we are suffering from depression, we may become more hostile. Perhaps increased awareness of our irrationality will help us be less impulsive, less inclined to blame the nearest human for our suffering, and more able to control our thoughts (away from revenge and irritating fantasies), our actions, and our group's aggression.

Boredom

Boredom is another source of hostility. When life loses its meaning because we are only a cog in a wheel, our reaction to the senselessness and helplessness is anger. We feel cheated; we had hoped for more in life; the powerlessness hurts. Hurting others or making them mad are ways of proving one still has power, a means of showing "I'm somebody."

Anger-generating fantasies

First, something happens to make us mad--someone cheats or insults us, a child rebels, our lover shows a lot of attention to someone else. We think about it a lot; we talk about it; it becomes an obsession, like a movie played over and over. The more we think about it, the angrier we get. Research supports this notion. Men hold anger longer than women. It is not uncommon to meet a person who is still, years later, seething with anger towards a former spouse or a tyrannical parent or boss. Presumably the unpleasant memories maintain the hostility which, in turn, fuels more aggressive fantasies and perhaps ulcers, distrust of others, and so on.

Anger-Building Elements

There seem to be two elements in anger-building: (1) obsessive hostile fantasies and (2) a lack of creative imagination or fantasy. Extremely violent persons often ruminate almost continuously about how awful the hated person is. Also, they think of only violent solutions to the problem. Sirhan was obsessed with killing Robert Kennedy. On the other hand, research has consistently shown that people who are frequently aggressive have a very limited ability to think of different or more creative ways of handling the angering situation or person.

Talking with friends or a therapist about being upset with someone may or may not diminish it. If the talking (or daydreaming) reinforces your beliefs of injustice, blame, and evilness in the other person, your anger increases. If the talking (or thinking) provides more understanding of the disliked person and more ideas about how to cope, your anger decreases. Also, if you believe talking calms you down, it probably does.